Bobbi of @geekybobbin is one of my favorite Instagrammers! She recently posted about #ufovember, a time to go through the pile of incomplete or set aside projects to decide if they need to be restarted, reworked, or rehomed. I’ve been working my way through my pile already, but I thought I’d take her up on the challenge to go through all the places I keep UFOs (unfinished objects) to see if there were any missing and to decide what I want to do with them. These are listed in the order I found them.

Lone Star Quilt

I’ve wanted to make this style of quilt for awhile now, and I decided to do it using English Paper Piecing instead of machine piecing. I am very pleased with how it has turned out so far, but I’m stuck on how to finish. Right now it’s about 63 inches x 63 inches and I don’t like those dimensions. I want it to be bigger and less square, but I’m not sure how to make that happen. I also saw someone who did a colored stripe in the border, and I thought it would be interesting to mix some of the colors into borders. The problem is that I am almost completely out of the fabric I used for the star, and I don’t want to buy cuts of fabric when what I need is scraps.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: Solve the borders problem and then buy backing/binding

BadAss Quilt

My sister bought me the background fabric for this quilt as a birthday gift and I made the letters from leftovers from my Nebula and Tattoo Quilt blocks of the month. It’s only been on the UFO pile for about a month. It’s mostly waiting in in to be quilted because I haven’t picked and purchased a backing fabric for it yet and there are other quilts that are ready to go.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: Select and buy backing and binding fabric

Tula Pink Butterfly Quilt

I made this quilt in 2018 as part of a sew-a-long, and I am just coming to terms with how much I don’t like it. Picking fabric is hard for me, which is why I rarely mix fabric designers. I do not like the outcome of this quilt, so I have decided to rehome it. Sometime in the next week, I will post this quilt to my Instagram feed and offer it and the binding to anyone who wants to finish it. I feel sad about letting it go, but I also think it’s the right thing to do. I’ve put off finishing it for YEARS. It’s time to let it go.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: Post of Insta and mail it off.

Interwoven Quilt

In the Spring of this year my sister hinted that she wanted a quilt. I like my sister, so I thought, “Why not?” We made a deal, she bought the supplies, and I put it together. Holy crap, does my sister know color. How amazing is this project?!?! Today, I started to get the fabric together to piece the backing. I am hoping to have it ready to start quilting…or to actually start the quilting by the end of the week.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: Sister needs to give me an idea of how she wanted this project quilted and she’ll need to pick out the binding fabric.

Cherish Quilt

I’ll be honest, I forgot I had this quilt top hanging in the closet of our spare bedroom. I finished this one (I think) in 2019 and I haven’t finished it because I am loathed to use the Tula Pink Trash Panda (aka racoon) fabric I set aside of the backing. It’s so cute! And out of print! What if I want it for something else?!?!?! Okay, you’re right. Let it go and get the quilt done. Good talk.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: Suck it up buttercup…..use the fabric and get quilting

Ice Cream Soda Quilt

This quilt is a good example of why it is important to make sure what you believe is true matches reality. I’ve been thinking for months that I have to sew borders on this quilt. I checked …turns out it’s ready for quilting. This one joins the BadAss quilt in the needs a backing and binding in order to finish. Also, I was too lazy to take a new picture. So imagine a border that matches the joining pieces.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: Time to go fabric shopping!!!!!!!!

Tattoo Block of the Month

All of my blocks are sewn and ready for joining. BUT, I’m using three of them for the art show I have up at work, so the soonest I’ll be able to put this top together would be after the show ends in January.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: I need all my blocks at home. Courage, Grace, and Wisdom are on loan. I figure there’s no point in putting the rest together until they’re back. They take up less space that way.

Nebula Block of the Month

I may have put this one so far toward the bottom so that you don’t notice that I’m avoiding it. I have the main blocks done, but I have to cut about a million pieces for the background and then sew them together. I feels a bit daunting, so I’m rationalizing my avoidance by focusing on all the projects I’m finishing.

Okay, even I don’t buy that excuse. If I am nagging my Insta-pal Laura like crazy for avoiding a project, than I shouldn’t do it either. So, no other piecing work until I at least start on this one.

WHAT I NEED TO FINISH: I have to finish the background so I can put this baby together.


I almost left these next two off the list because English Paper Piecing projects are slow work. However, I decided it’s still good to check in. I have about 16 of the blocks done for this quilt, and I think that’s close to half way. This is another quilt that I used some of the unfinished blocks for my art show. So I will keep chugging along on this project.

La Passacaglia

This is another one that I almost didn’t own up to. I work on this quilt in fits and starts. I suspect I will still be working on it five years from now. But in the meantime, the blocks are cool looking.

And that’s all of it! I wonder if this is a bit like what going to confession feels like. Time to get back to work piecing the backing for my sister’s Interwoven quilt and composing a post to give away the butterfly top. Happy UFOVEMBER!!!!!


Update on THE LIST

Back in August I made a list of all of my unfinished quilt projects. I got myself all psyched up to do some serious quilting….and then my machine spent about a month in the shop because it got cranky. She’s back and working again, so I am started working on this list again. Here is the update:

  1. Pineapple Baby Quilt✔
  2. Black Swan✔
  3. White Swan✔
  4. Pineapple pillows x 3 ✔
  5. Pineapple Quilt✔
  6. Interwoven Quilt
  7. Tula Butterfly Quilt
  8. Cherish Quilt
  9. Ice Cream Soda Quilt (technically I still need to put the borders on)
  10. Lone Star Quilt (also needs borders)
  11. Log Cabin Quilt – Quilting in Progress
  12. Badass Quilt


I love a good sew-a-long. I enjoy the community and structure that comes from making the same quilt as other and being told what to make when. It’s easier to be creative when there are less choices to make.

I joined Berne of @happysewlucky on Instagram to make her Tattoo Quilt using fabric from Tula Pink’s True Colors line. The result is pretty awesome.

Sew-a-longs are a great opportunity to build/practice some skills. I’ve been stretching my foundation paper piecing skills. This pattern has some fiddly seams to match and there are even Y-seams.

Here are the blocks I’ve made so far. Also, one of my 2021 goals is to figure out what my camera is focusing properly.

Piecing those flames was NO JOKE. There were a LOT of seams to match. The final result is fantastic!

The Courage and Love blocks taught my I can sew y-seams without dying.


Looking Too Closely

I made a quilt awhile a go and when I finished I was so disgusted and frustrated with it I put it away somewhere I wouldn’t have to see it. Months later I pulled the quilt out and I couldn’t remember what was wrong with it. I was actually really impressed with my work.

What was my problem?

I find that when I make I spend most of my time inches away from what I’m making. I see my creation up close. Up close is where we see all the flaws and imperfections. Those seams that didn’t nest or the quilting where the stitch length is all over the place. I become to familiar with the imperfections I convince myself the imperfections are all anyone sees. Then when I show people my work and they celebrate it, I have a hard time believing them. Didn’t they notice all the imprecations and mistakes?

I made a discovery that totally changed how I look at my projects.

More than 10 years ago, the community college I was working at as a summer job in college hosted a quilt show. My mom worked at the college too and she and I walked through the show together. She bought me a beautiful purple mini quilt which I have treasured since that day.

As I became a more experienced quilter I approached that mini quilt again from a different perspective. I understood the process of quilting and I was curious. How was the quilt pieced? Was the quilt hand or machine quilted? Was the binding hand or machine sewn?

I made a discovery that shocked me. The maker machine quilted the mini using both staring line and free motion quilting. AND the thread tension on the free motion quilting is a way off.

Guess what? I owned that mini quilt for 10 years and never noticed.

Guess what else? I see that quilt every time I go to make, and I cannot see the tension problem from where I work. I enjoy that mini quilt even though it is not perfect. I enjoy that mini quilt even though it has an obvious mistake.

What is so special about me and what I make that I will not extend the same grace and acceptance to myself that I extend to others?


There is nothing so special about me that excludes me from from the kindness and generosity I extend to other.

Whenever I am tempted to label my work as not good enough, I look at that mini quilt and I remember the purpose of a quilt. To give warmth. To add beauty to the world. To allow myself creative expression.

Then I step back and look at it again.

Yeah, it’s good enough.


But for the grace of God, there go I

When the allegations of sexual misconduct first came out against the senior pastor of my church (Bill Hybles of Willow Creek), I was shocked and confused. How could the man who endured scorn, isolation, and hate for promoting women in leadership positions also be guilty of sexual misconduct? Also, how could the man the who I’ve observed to only hug people under duress, be guilty of hugging women for too long? None of this made any sense to me. I want to be clear, I believe the victims. I just couldn’t make sense of the public version of Bill I was familiar with and this behind the scenes version.

Until I started thinking about it.

The more I thought about it the more stories Bill told came to mind.

What follows is how I personally came to a place of peace with the dichotomy of Bill’s character. I have never had a personal or professional relationship with Bill. I’m pretty sure the only time I’ve ever spoken with him was to briefly say hello when I saw him on campus. I think for those of us who didn’t know Bill personally this season has been especially hard because all we know of him is how he presented himself in public.

I also want to say what follows is not a well researched piece of journalism. This is 100% conjecture. So, if you get to the end you don’t agree, I invite you to reject it. This thought process helped me and my only intent was offer it as help to others.

Here we go:

In the beginning, many of the allegations that came forward were from the early days of the church when Bill was in his late twenties and into his thirties. I started remembering stories of the earlier days of Willow. I bet you can still find Bill telling many of these stories in video clips online.

When Bill would speak about spiritual gifts, he frequently told a story about a time in the church when he felt burnt out, emotionally drained and ready to quit. He would say that he was over using his teaching gift which was draining to him, leaving him little to no time to lean into his evangelism and leadership gifts. Bill also told that story when he spoke about filling your bucket so that you can be at your best. Which means there was a time in Willow’s history where Bill was admittedly burnt out, drained, and ready to quit.

We also know from a book Bill and his wife, Lynn, co-authored that they really struggled in their marriage, especially in the beginning. Bill described being emotionally distant and both of them struggled to reconcile their differences of personality along with the stress and struggle of starting Willow.

Next, Bill frequently spoke about his father. He spoke very highly of his father, and Bill also described his father’s emotional coldness. When Bill exhorted dads in the church to be loving and affectionate with their children he frequently spoke of the impact having a dad who was not physically affectionate and did not tell him he was loved.

Kids need to experience non-sexual, physical touch. I had someone ask me what the point of hug was. “It’s sensory integration,” I said. In other words, a hug helps you integrate all the information you’re processing at any given minute (which can be overwhelming) and then helps you CALM DOWN. Persons with autism who struggle to tolerate physical touch will use squeeze boxes to mimic the feeling of a hug so as to help them calm down. Ranchers use something similar to calm their cattle. Those hugs and snuggles are a necessary part of our development and ability to tolerate and regulate uncomfortable emotions and physical sensations.

Another story Bill told at the leadership summit was his dad’s habit of sending him on international trips, starting at a young age, by himself. Bill said his dad’s message to him was, “Figure it out. Don’t call me.” In one story Bill talked about how his dad sent him on a skiing trip by train. When he arrived at his train stop it was night, he was more than a mile away from where he was staying, and he had no plan for how he was going to get there. And this was long before cell phones and uber. The story was meant to illustrate how people develop resiliency when they are left to solve their problems…which is true. And when a child is left alone to solve big problems they often learn that other people don’t help them and the only person you can go to for help is yourself. Total self reliance is a dangerous, lonely, stressful way to live (which I say a person who struggles with it.).

Bill once told a story about how in the early days of Willow they did not pass something around to collect the offering because there was this feeling that churches were all about money and that would turned off new people. Instead there was a box at the front of the auditorium. The result was that tithing was really low and the church was struggling to stay afloat financially. In the story, Bill said one day he was so frustrated he basically told the congregation something to the effect that the church doesn’t have enough resources to go on and he can’t take it anymore. That he was getting in his car and driving west and wasn’t sure if he was coming back. Bill said he made to Las Vegas before he stopped and turned around. This story, to me, demonstrates a problem with asking for help, inappropriate blaming, and impulsiveness.

When you consider a young man who is struggling with his marriage, his vocation and emotional management is really such a shock that he would turn to such unhealthy means of coping? If a person believes that he the only person he can really rely on is himself and he is emotionally tapped out, is allowing himself to violate boundaries and push limits for instant gratification so far outside of possible?

I want to be 100% clear that I am NOT trying to excuse or justify his behavior. My goal is to add context AND to protect ourselves from falling into the “special/monster” trap. Often when we see a great failing of character, especially from someone we admire, our tendency is to deny the failing or dismiss that person as a monster…or some kind of special bad person. Bill is neither. He is a fallible human who did not seek help in a healthy way when he desperately needed.

We want people who do bad things to be a special kind of bad, different from us some how. It shields all of us from the reality of “But for the grace of God, there go I.” All of us are vulnerable to causing great harm to people if we are not open and accountable to our brokenness. And we are all broken.

I think the other way we harm ourselves by thinking of people who commit sexual misconduct as a special kind of bad is that we are resistant to believing it when someone we know is accused of sexual misconduct. Surely someone we know would never do that. Unfortunately this behavior is much too common.

I hope that people come forward and accuse someone in power of sexual misconduct our instinct is to believe the person who comes forward. It is VERY rare for someone to lie about sexual misconduct. Given the way we treat people who come forward, why would someone choose to submit to that kind of scrutiny and treatment to protect a lie?

I strongly believe that no one is special. No one is invulnerable to moral failing. No person is so connected to God and His will that they do not need the same help, accountability, and discipline the rest of us do. Celebrity and power does not endow a person with an inoculation to sin or temptation. It makes them more vulnerable.

I don’t know what the path forward is here. I think a step in the right direction is to assume that people who come forward with allegations of sexual misconduct are telling the truth. I also think we need a better system for holding church leaders accountable and leaders who resist such accountability should be a major red flag.  I am so over the idea of celebrity pastors.

My goal in writing this was to help those of us on the outside to come to terms with the fall of a person we only knew by an outdated reputation. I am so sad for all the women who were harmed by Bill and for all the people who have been hurt by the culture he created. I am so thankful the truth came out and that we are finally talking about it.

I love the church. I hope this serves as a wake up call for Willow about how it treats its leaders, creating change moving forward. I hope we are able to remove the toxic aspects of Willow’s culture so that we can move forward as the hands and feet of Jesus in our community.

I hope.



How Do We Talk About This?

I’ve been thinking for awhile that the #METOO movement is in need of clarifying language.

My hope is to start a conversation about language so that we can understand each other while we process a very difficult issue. So let’s start with some terms:

Sexual misconduct is a catch all term which includes everything from a comment that caused discomfort to drugging a person and forcing sex.

Just like fruit is too broad to distinguish between an apple or an orange (and let’s not get into tomatoes) the term sexual misconduct not specific enough to stand on its own all the time.

Sexual assault refers to a one time incident in which a person experienced sexual contact which they did not consent to. This term is another broad one that can encompass everything from groping to penetration.

Sexual abuse is a pattern of behavior in which a person uses power and control to manipulate, force or coerce sexual contact.

Assault and abuse are both forms of misconduct. Another term I thinks needs to be added is inappropriate behavior.

Here’s an example:

I used to work for a mostly male company with a mostly male sales force. One day, I wore my hair up in two messy buns that in hindsight looked like pigtails. I was in my mid-twenties and looked younger. A male co-worker who was twice my size and almost twice my age commented that my hair style reminded him of Shirley Temple which had him feeling like R-Kelly. I made some stammering statement about how that was not cool and went and told my (male) boss. My boss laughed. Surely my co-worker was joking and I was being too sensitive.

My co-worker’s behavior was inappropriate. It is not okay to imply to someone that their look for the day has them feeling like someone who (at the time) was on trial for statutory rape.

We run into a  bunch of problems when we confuse inappropriate with abuse or assault because they both need different things.

Abuse and assault need immediate safety for the victims, including making it so that they cannot be harmed further. Safety could include firing the one who perpetrated the behavior, removing them from the home, and legal consequences.

Inappropriate behavior needs coaching on why the behavior is wrong and clear boundaries about what will happen if the behavior continues. And for victims, they need to be believed and their concerns taken seriously (that goes for abuse and assault too).

When we treat abuse and assault as if it was on the same level as inappropriate we do not protect our people and we minimize the significance of the harm to those who are being hurt. We also continue to expose those who have been harmed to further danger.

When we treat inappropriate behavior as if it were the same as assault or abuse we alienate people and make the whole movement look out of touch and extreme. People who would be allies refuse to engage because treating an R-Kelly comment the same as forcing sex is ridiculous.

Sexual misconduct is happening in homes, businesses, churches, schools, all over the world. And it must stop. A step on the path to stopping this reprehensible and damaging behavior is to formulate the language we need to talk about the issue. I do not believe that what is included here is exhaustive. My hope is that it will provide a starting point for all of us to create the language we need to solve this issue.

Women, men, and children have suffered enough. We need to be able to say what “it” is, so that we can talk about it, so that we can end it.